This is the Josh that I dated from my church. Y'all have to remember this guy barely knew me and we dated for like 3 days. Before that, we never even had a real conversation. He's different now. Not so pushy. We're friends, I think...but this, again, is for spiritual perspective.
Josh:
I am deeply in love with you and want to be strong for you. I will never leave or forsake you just like God.
Me:
hun...I know u think that...but I think your pushing love. in Song of Solomon it says "do not arise or awaken love until it so desires" meaning don't try to push love. Let it happen naturally. I have been thru a lot and I do have a lot of pressure on me but I can't depend on people because one minute they're there and the next...they're gone...I don't think your IN love. I think that u wanna be able to be there for someone. To feel needed. Like... to try to fix things. I'm put thru things as a test just like everyone. Nothing is gonna be easy. But if it ever is, that's when u should worry just like Danny says. It's God's way to pull me closer to Him. And I have a testimony to give. God gave me a story to tell. I'm gonna use it to praise him because He won't bring u to anything that He won't pull you thru. He is an amazing, merciful, forgiving God. And I won't pretend to be perfect. I'm no where close. I've made mistakes. But if God still wants to use me, I still wanna let him.
Josh:
Ok.....ok I like that. That sounds great.
Me:
I just read that out loud...it actually sounds...smart...that's weird for me hahaha
Josh:
Nooo it is smart, cause it came from an intelligent woman. But see what I mean when I rushed you? It IS all my fault, Allison!!! LOLz
Me:
You didn’t rush me. You rushed yourself... I mean I really wasn’t ready to be honest. I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now. I just wanna hang out with people. There's only one relationship I wanna focus on. All others lead to broken hearts
Josh:
Yeah, you’re so right. It’s a self-problem I have to drop, and I’m sorry about it. Maybe we can work up a relationship? I promise it will be slower than Obama becoming a decent politician.
Me:
bahahahahahahaha nice dude.
Josh:
LOLZ Yeah, I’m good...But seriously, would you like that?
Me:
I think there's more to it than me not being ready. I’m like Tricia: I don't date unless I see it going somewhere. That's how she was in high school. But also, I don’t wanna jump into anything with anyone. I’ve done that too many times. I need to do what feels right for me. But I think that it’s you too. I think that you need to have someone to love so u push feelings too fast for one person. You dated Ivey for a week and a half and now she’s like your sister. Love isn’t an overnight thing. It’s gradual. It takes time to develop those feelings for someone. It’s not there one minute and gone the next. True love is either never or forever. That’s why I don’t say I’m in love unless I’m 120% sure of it. I’m not gonna force myself to feel what’s not there. I don’t think u should either. I understand that you wanna be there for me but josh, u just don’t get it. You don’t love me. I promise. When you truly, genuinely are in love, you’ll know it. She'll become your whole life. I know what it's like to be out of your mind in love with someone. I also know what it's like when they think they feel the same way...then realize they don’t.
Josh:
Love: When you care for someone more than yourself unselfishly.
Me:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails.
Josh:
I’ve been looking for that verse .I thought about it last night exactly after I thought about you.
Me:
Josh... no. I'm sorry I don't know how to make this any clearer. You're not in love. Love isn't being zapped with fuzzy feelings. Love is thick and thin. Love is working things out. Love is occasional fights that end in "I love you". Love isn't pet names and attraction. Love is friendship on fire. You can go to each other for ANYTHING and you’re always there for each other. You're the other person's rock and they are yours. They are all you can think about day in and day out. You love them from your soul beyond your mind and heart. They are your first priority right under God. You love them with your spirit. I've only been in love once. And I'm definitely not gonna try to fall in love because then it's not real. Love is a miracle. It's...it can either be like heaven or it can make your life hell. Stop trying so hard to be in love with someone. Let it happen on its own.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Debate With Milky (Spiritual Perspective on the Holocaust)
I have his permission to post this. This is strictly for the spiritual perspective. NOT to embarass anyone. In case you've forgotten, his real name is Josh. I'm not allowed to call him Milky to his face ^-^
Me:
You don't understand...God isn't a once or twice a week thing. He's here. Now and forever. Every step you take he's there. Everything you do He's there. Any decision you make. He's the little voice in your head when you KNOW something is wrong. He's the tug on your heart when you're gonna DO something wrong. Without God, there is no day or night or rain or shine. He is with you everywhere. All the time. In everything you do. In every choice you make. He's with you all the way. Every single day. He'll never let you down. He wants you to run to Him with everything. He waits with open arms to hold His child close and says "I'll never let you go." THAT'S the ONLY relationship I want. I want my daddy. My Abba Father. My God.
Milky:
But my future...is what I make it out to be. And I'm not moving...not until I graduate. I know that for a fact.
Me:
Your future is what God plans it out to be. His plans are greater than your own. And He is gonna use you in ways that you could never imagine. But you have to let Him. You have to trust him. You have to remember that He will never do anything that would hurt you. He'll never bring you to something that He won't pull you through. Jeremiah 29:11 "'I know the plans I have for you' says the Lord your God. 'Plans to heal and not to harm. Plans to give you a future.'"
Milky:
Yes I know...I've known for a while. I understand that...I'm saying for that Wednesday I can come to church with you and we can worship together. I read two pages of the Bible a day. Every day. And I've finished it...twice. I know. And I'm gonna read it...until I have every single word memorized. And...does that mean...that you don't want a relationship...ever...with me................................?
Me:
Josh it doesn't mean anything about you. It means that I don't want to now and I don't KNOW what I'm going to want. That's the thing with plans. They change. But God's are set in place before you're ever born. He writes your destiny.
Milky:
Explain this then...sorry to say...but...why did God sacrifice...79% of all living Jews in World War II? Were they born to die? Were they born to prove a point? Why didn't he pull them thru it? Jesus...God's son...was a Jew. Explain that. Especially when it was by a person who considered himself holy and Godly.
Me:
Hitler was a narcissistic bastard. Yes, God loved him. His heart pined for him, but that's why God gives us free will. So we can make our own choices. God was there. He did pull them through because Hitler. Did. Not. Succeed. He put a serious dent in it but he didn't wipe them out. And now he's dead and burning in hell. God allows things to happen because they can be used to glorify and praise Him. What happened to the Jews was to show how much bigger God is than our problems. He let it happen because their story shows that nothing is too big for Him. Hitler is gone. The Jews aren't. The ones that died are now with God. That's not something to be sad about.
Milky:
Yet you just tried using this earlier to prove your point...Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you says the Lord your God. Plans to heal and not to harm. Plans to give you a future." Yeah...umm didn't give the Jews much of a future...didn't heal the Jews much. All it did was cause harm...make them lose their faith...make them...let's see...kill their own families...steal from their brothers...does that sound good? Does that sound healing? Is that a future. 7/8 of all existing Jews today...have no grandparents...because they died in the Holocaust. Only three people who were in the Holocaust...are still here... Alive...and only one...in the God Almighty... So explain...
Me:
He knew it would happen. He used it to show a...comparison? Just like He let Joseph be sold into slavery. He made him a king. He didn't cause them to sin. God doesn't tempt. Satan tempts. God tests.
Milky:
The Bible tells us...that...in order to have...everlasting life...to join God in heaven...that we must let Jesus into our hearts...and become saved...well...do you think it's His wishes for His followers to lose their faith...to abandon Him...to dispose of all ties with Him. That's what it did to the Jews. Am I making since to you now? This and several other things...give me disbelief...I still believe...but...I am not gonna rely on Him for everything because I've seen where it gets 43% of all Christians.
Me:
Nobody said salvation would be easy. But it's worth it. Would you rather live a life of ease and burn in hell for all eternity with the Devil and his fallen angels or would you rather live your life for Jesus Christ who gave his up for YOU. And for every Jew and Atheist and Mormon and Muslim and Hindu and Christian out there. For those who've never even heard of him. 12 languages don't have the Bible. Every day millions of people die and go to hell. Why? Because of people. Because of sin. And because the ones who HAVE heard are afraid. They either don't wanna believe it or they are too afraid to do anything about it. How many people do you know who make an effort to reach people with truth and not hypocrisy?
Milky:
But you said...he plans everything out. And knows your destiny before you're born. If that is so...he KNEW that the Jews would go to hell. That millions of people would die. And go to hell. That they would lose faith.
Me:
I understand. But God didn't WANT them to lose faith. He just gave them that choice. He didn't make them change their mind about Him. He wanted to use them. And they gave up on Him. As long as you're alive, there is still hope.
Me:
You don't understand...God isn't a once or twice a week thing. He's here. Now and forever. Every step you take he's there. Everything you do He's there. Any decision you make. He's the little voice in your head when you KNOW something is wrong. He's the tug on your heart when you're gonna DO something wrong. Without God, there is no day or night or rain or shine. He is with you everywhere. All the time. In everything you do. In every choice you make. He's with you all the way. Every single day. He'll never let you down. He wants you to run to Him with everything. He waits with open arms to hold His child close and says "I'll never let you go." THAT'S the ONLY relationship I want. I want my daddy. My Abba Father. My God.
Milky:
But my future...is what I make it out to be. And I'm not moving...not until I graduate. I know that for a fact.
Me:
Your future is what God plans it out to be. His plans are greater than your own. And He is gonna use you in ways that you could never imagine. But you have to let Him. You have to trust him. You have to remember that He will never do anything that would hurt you. He'll never bring you to something that He won't pull you through. Jeremiah 29:11 "'I know the plans I have for you' says the Lord your God. 'Plans to heal and not to harm. Plans to give you a future.'"
Milky:
Yes I know...I've known for a while. I understand that...I'm saying for that Wednesday I can come to church with you and we can worship together. I read two pages of the Bible a day. Every day. And I've finished it...twice. I know. And I'm gonna read it...until I have every single word memorized. And...does that mean...that you don't want a relationship...ever...with me................................?
Me:
Josh it doesn't mean anything about you. It means that I don't want to now and I don't KNOW what I'm going to want. That's the thing with plans. They change. But God's are set in place before you're ever born. He writes your destiny.
Milky:
Explain this then...sorry to say...but...why did God sacrifice...79% of all living Jews in World War II? Were they born to die? Were they born to prove a point? Why didn't he pull them thru it? Jesus...God's son...was a Jew. Explain that. Especially when it was by a person who considered himself holy and Godly.
Me:
Hitler was a narcissistic bastard. Yes, God loved him. His heart pined for him, but that's why God gives us free will. So we can make our own choices. God was there. He did pull them through because Hitler. Did. Not. Succeed. He put a serious dent in it but he didn't wipe them out. And now he's dead and burning in hell. God allows things to happen because they can be used to glorify and praise Him. What happened to the Jews was to show how much bigger God is than our problems. He let it happen because their story shows that nothing is too big for Him. Hitler is gone. The Jews aren't. The ones that died are now with God. That's not something to be sad about.
Milky:
Yet you just tried using this earlier to prove your point...Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you says the Lord your God. Plans to heal and not to harm. Plans to give you a future." Yeah...umm didn't give the Jews much of a future...didn't heal the Jews much. All it did was cause harm...make them lose their faith...make them...let's see...kill their own families...steal from their brothers...does that sound good? Does that sound healing? Is that a future. 7/8 of all existing Jews today...have no grandparents...because they died in the Holocaust. Only three people who were in the Holocaust...are still here... Alive...and only one...in the God Almighty... So explain...
Me:
He knew it would happen. He used it to show a...comparison? Just like He let Joseph be sold into slavery. He made him a king. He didn't cause them to sin. God doesn't tempt. Satan tempts. God tests.
Milky:
The Bible tells us...that...in order to have...everlasting life...to join God in heaven...that we must let Jesus into our hearts...and become saved...well...do you think it's His wishes for His followers to lose their faith...to abandon Him...to dispose of all ties with Him. That's what it did to the Jews. Am I making since to you now? This and several other things...give me disbelief...I still believe...but...I am not gonna rely on Him for everything because I've seen where it gets 43% of all Christians.
Me:
Nobody said salvation would be easy. But it's worth it. Would you rather live a life of ease and burn in hell for all eternity with the Devil and his fallen angels or would you rather live your life for Jesus Christ who gave his up for YOU. And for every Jew and Atheist and Mormon and Muslim and Hindu and Christian out there. For those who've never even heard of him. 12 languages don't have the Bible. Every day millions of people die and go to hell. Why? Because of people. Because of sin. And because the ones who HAVE heard are afraid. They either don't wanna believe it or they are too afraid to do anything about it. How many people do you know who make an effort to reach people with truth and not hypocrisy?
Milky:
But you said...he plans everything out. And knows your destiny before you're born. If that is so...he KNEW that the Jews would go to hell. That millions of people would die. And go to hell. That they would lose faith.
Me:
I understand. But God didn't WANT them to lose faith. He just gave them that choice. He didn't make them change their mind about Him. He wanted to use them. And they gave up on Him. As long as you're alive, there is still hope.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Yours Forever (song from Vintage) -excerpt-
Lord, reveal your heart
And say
that I'm yours forever
God, reveal your power
So man
will shake and tremble
~**I'll post the rest when I learn the rest of the song...**~
And say
that I'm yours forever
God, reveal your power
So man
will shake and tremble
~**I'll post the rest when I learn the rest of the song...**~
Your Name Is Glorious (song from Vintage) -excerpt-
Your name is
glorious, glorious
Your love is
changing us, calling us
To worship
in spirit and in truth
as all creation
returns to you
~**I'll post the rest when I learn it...**~
glorious, glorious
Your love is
changing us, calling us
To worship
in spirit and in truth
as all creation
returns to you
~**I'll post the rest when I learn it...**~
I don't know the title of this song...it's another one from Vintage -excerpt-
How beautiful the blood flow
How wonderful the love shown
The king of glory poured out
Victorious are we now
~**I'll post the rest when I learn the rest of the song...**~
How wonderful the love shown
The king of glory poured out
Victorious are we now
~**I'll post the rest when I learn the rest of the song...**~
Here In Your Prescence (song from Vintage) -excerpt-
Here in your prescence
We are undone
Here in your prescence
Heaven and earth become one
Here in your prescence
All things are new
Here in your prescence
Everything bows before you
We are undone
Here in your prescence
Heaven and earth become one
Here in your prescence
All things are new
Here in your prescence
Everything bows before you
Draw Me Away (song from Vintage) -excerpt-
Draw me away
Draw me away to you
For I long for it
To be me and you
Behold you are fair
Fairer than the sons of man
Behold you are fair
My love
For I am your beloved
And you are mine
I've ravished your heart
And you've ravished mine
Draw me away to you
For I long for it
To be me and you
Behold you are fair
Fairer than the sons of man
Behold you are fair
My love
For I am your beloved
And you are mine
I've ravished your heart
And you've ravished mine
My Soul Sings (song from Vintage) -exerpt-
My soul sings
My soul sings
My soul sings
How I love you
It's just a little while longer
til I see you
It's just a little while longer
til I know you
It's just a little while longer
til we'll be together
My soul sings
My soul sings
How I love you
It's just a little while longer
til I see you
It's just a little while longer
til I know you
It's just a little while longer
til we'll be together
10-13-10 (Wednesday Night at Vintage)
I always cry at least a little at Vintage.
But this night was different.
I started bawling when I stepped in the door.
I'd just signed in and walked inside
And we were singing "My Soul Sings"
and "Draw Me Away".
I'll post the lyrics in a minute.
Then Danny was doing a continuation
of a series.
He is taking games
And relating them to life.
He did "Let's Make a Deal"
Basically, when you date around,
You're committing yourself
in a relationship
with someone who is more than likely
not your soul mate.
Dating in high school
teaches you to break up
when things get hard
and it trains you
for divorce
later on
because it teaches you
to give up on people
over flaws
which pushes away
real love.
What if your soul mate
isn't your "type"?
What if you're
limiting yourself?
You'll never find the right person
if you don't let go of
the wrong one.
Why start something
without intention
of making it last?
In the end,
it's only heartbreak.
I realized
that I'm more afraid
to fall out of love
than I am
for someone I love
to fall out of love
with me.
I have severe
trust and abandonment
issues.
I've only let one person in.
I'm scared to let him go...
I cried that night because
every time I date someone else
it feels like I'm cheating
on him...
it feels like
no matter what
he's always mine
and I'm always his...
I can't stand to see him
with someone else...
I cried because
I swore that God
was trying to show me
that Nick was the one...
I cried because
I'd talked to Chino
about the way things
between me and Nick
used to be
all the way there
and I missed it...
But mostly because
at that point in time
I was trying to move on
and he's still with Brit.
My stepdad thinks
I was "using" Austin.
That isn't true...
I hope...
My last two boyfriends
as much as I hate to say it
were rebounds...
but I genuinely thought
that I liked them...
I kinda did...
but all I've ever been able to think
about the way they treated me
was how much I wished
Nick still treated me like that.
Right now
it feels like
wednesday night
wasn't real
because all I could do
was cry
because I felt so helpless
because the message felt
directed at me
even though it wasn't.
When you date
You make a deal
And trade away
your soul mate
and God's plan
for your life.
I posted on Facebook
that I love what I have
and I wouldn't trade it
for anything.
I wouldn't trade Nick
for anything...
but what if I'm wrong?
I don't wanna be...
I don't think I am...
I'm not using Austin.
But right now...
I'm numb.
But this night was different.
I started bawling when I stepped in the door.
I'd just signed in and walked inside
And we were singing "My Soul Sings"
and "Draw Me Away".
I'll post the lyrics in a minute.
Then Danny was doing a continuation
of a series.
He is taking games
And relating them to life.
He did "Let's Make a Deal"
Basically, when you date around,
You're committing yourself
in a relationship
with someone who is more than likely
not your soul mate.
Dating in high school
teaches you to break up
when things get hard
and it trains you
for divorce
later on
because it teaches you
to give up on people
over flaws
which pushes away
real love.
What if your soul mate
isn't your "type"?
What if you're
limiting yourself?
You'll never find the right person
if you don't let go of
the wrong one.
Why start something
without intention
of making it last?
In the end,
it's only heartbreak.
I realized
that I'm more afraid
to fall out of love
than I am
for someone I love
to fall out of love
with me.
I have severe
trust and abandonment
issues.
I've only let one person in.
I'm scared to let him go...
I cried that night because
every time I date someone else
it feels like I'm cheating
on him...
it feels like
no matter what
he's always mine
and I'm always his...
I can't stand to see him
with someone else...
I cried because
I swore that God
was trying to show me
that Nick was the one...
I cried because
I'd talked to Chino
about the way things
between me and Nick
used to be
all the way there
and I missed it...
But mostly because
at that point in time
I was trying to move on
and he's still with Brit.
My stepdad thinks
I was "using" Austin.
That isn't true...
I hope...
My last two boyfriends
as much as I hate to say it
were rebounds...
but I genuinely thought
that I liked them...
I kinda did...
but all I've ever been able to think
about the way they treated me
was how much I wished
Nick still treated me like that.
Right now
it feels like
wednesday night
wasn't real
because all I could do
was cry
because I felt so helpless
because the message felt
directed at me
even though it wasn't.
When you date
You make a deal
And trade away
your soul mate
and God's plan
for your life.
I posted on Facebook
that I love what I have
and I wouldn't trade it
for anything.
I wouldn't trade Nick
for anything...
but what if I'm wrong?
I don't wanna be...
I don't think I am...
I'm not using Austin.
But right now...
I'm numb.
Friday, October 8, 2010
I Need You (from song by Eddie James)
My soul longs
And even faints
For you
My heart and my flesh
They cry out
For the Living God
For the Living God
So incline your ear
With trembling and tears
I'm yearning
To the throne of grace
To seek your face
I'm burning
Longing for you
I need you
I need you
For nothing and no place
And no one else will do
I need you
I need you
For you satisfy
The longing inside
Da da da da da
Da da da
Da da da
And even faints
For you
My heart and my flesh
They cry out
For the Living God
For the Living God
So incline your ear
With trembling and tears
I'm yearning
To the throne of grace
To seek your face
I'm burning
Longing for you
I need you
I need you
For nothing and no place
And no one else will do
I need you
I need you
For you satisfy
The longing inside
Da da da da da
Da da da
Da da da
My Spiritual Perspective
I'm hypersensitive to emotion and presence.
It's been said that 3 am is the demonic witching hour because it's the opposite of 12 pm, the time of day around which Jesus died on the cross.
I feel like I'm being watched almost all the time...and I feel a lot of the time like I have some spirit attatched to me...
Last night, I was on the phone with Twitch. It was about 11:30ish and I was in my bed. I had all my lights off and my fan off and my windows shut. I did this because I didn't want my mom to know that I was still on the phone. I was supposed to be off at 10. Luckily, she doesn't read my blog.
I got paranoid, so I turned my lamp on. I see shadows in the dark...
We had JUST been talking about the movies The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Paranormal Activity and my phone has piss poor signal out here, so it had dropped like 5 times already, but that one was the freakiest because the second it dropped, I heard a scratching sound at my door. I thought it was Harleigh, my teacup yorkie puppy, because she usually sleeps in my bed. I jumped at first.
When the scratching noise happened, my door pushed open just far enough to where she could've walked in, but I figured maybe it wasn't open far enough.
I went over to my door and opened it about halfway...Harleigh wasn't there. No one was. Something pushed my door open...something scratched on it...but there was nothing. Harleigh was in my mom's bed like she had been the last 2 hours, Sparkey and Eddy were sleeping on the couch. My sisters were the only other ones awake.
At about the time I started to get up to go to the door, I called Twitch back. She answered in time to hear me go freaking balistic because I heard and SAW my door open about 1/4 of the way open. And it had been shut. Not latched, but there was no way to open without pressure.
I almost hyperventalated. I've always felt a presence and normally like I'm being watched...sometimes I'll have goosebumps in the front and sweat on my back. Sometimes I'll hear footsteps, laughing, whispers, or just words without a voice...or whistling...
I see shadows...I'll swear I saw something, then turn to look and it'll be gone. I am NOT superstitious. But I do believe in spirits.
In the Bible, it talks about the Day of Judgement and the Rapture of the Church. What I think is this: your soul doesn't go directly to heaven or hell. I think that the good souls protect and the evil souls are trapped and torment. The good ones keep the bad ones away. The bad ones want to scare the living.
During the Rapture, all good souls will descend into heaven. The evil ones will be trapped on earth until the day of judgement because they stay behind to torture during the Great Tribulation. They are there to torment the living who wish for death, but death won't come.
During the Great Tribulation, people can still be saved, but it's much more difficult on them since no believers will be left on Earth. They have the worst trials of their faith. If they prevail, their soul is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. And they may enter heaven when they die. If they do not, however, they are thrown into the Lake of Fire where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.
In the last seven years of the Great Tribulation, the Antichrist who has become the ruler of the whole world and united all the lands as one nation of one language and one currency, will become possessed by Satan. The whole world will be ruled by Satan in flesh.
The whole time I've been writing this, I've felt like there's something behind me...
It's been said that 3 am is the demonic witching hour because it's the opposite of 12 pm, the time of day around which Jesus died on the cross.
I feel like I'm being watched almost all the time...and I feel a lot of the time like I have some spirit attatched to me...
Last night, I was on the phone with Twitch. It was about 11:30ish and I was in my bed. I had all my lights off and my fan off and my windows shut. I did this because I didn't want my mom to know that I was still on the phone. I was supposed to be off at 10. Luckily, she doesn't read my blog.
I got paranoid, so I turned my lamp on. I see shadows in the dark...
We had JUST been talking about the movies The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Paranormal Activity and my phone has piss poor signal out here, so it had dropped like 5 times already, but that one was the freakiest because the second it dropped, I heard a scratching sound at my door. I thought it was Harleigh, my teacup yorkie puppy, because she usually sleeps in my bed. I jumped at first.
When the scratching noise happened, my door pushed open just far enough to where she could've walked in, but I figured maybe it wasn't open far enough.
I went over to my door and opened it about halfway...Harleigh wasn't there. No one was. Something pushed my door open...something scratched on it...but there was nothing. Harleigh was in my mom's bed like she had been the last 2 hours, Sparkey and Eddy were sleeping on the couch. My sisters were the only other ones awake.
At about the time I started to get up to go to the door, I called Twitch back. She answered in time to hear me go freaking balistic because I heard and SAW my door open about 1/4 of the way open. And it had been shut. Not latched, but there was no way to open without pressure.
I almost hyperventalated. I've always felt a presence and normally like I'm being watched...sometimes I'll have goosebumps in the front and sweat on my back. Sometimes I'll hear footsteps, laughing, whispers, or just words without a voice...or whistling...
I see shadows...I'll swear I saw something, then turn to look and it'll be gone. I am NOT superstitious. But I do believe in spirits.
In the Bible, it talks about the Day of Judgement and the Rapture of the Church. What I think is this: your soul doesn't go directly to heaven or hell. I think that the good souls protect and the evil souls are trapped and torment. The good ones keep the bad ones away. The bad ones want to scare the living.
During the Rapture, all good souls will descend into heaven. The evil ones will be trapped on earth until the day of judgement because they stay behind to torture during the Great Tribulation. They are there to torment the living who wish for death, but death won't come.
During the Great Tribulation, people can still be saved, but it's much more difficult on them since no believers will be left on Earth. They have the worst trials of their faith. If they prevail, their soul is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. And they may enter heaven when they die. If they do not, however, they are thrown into the Lake of Fire where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.
In the last seven years of the Great Tribulation, the Antichrist who has become the ruler of the whole world and united all the lands as one nation of one language and one currency, will become possessed by Satan. The whole world will be ruled by Satan in flesh.
The whole time I've been writing this, I've felt like there's something behind me...
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